Mike's outrage over the Power Rankings has boiled over, so he's decided to craft his own special comments for each team in the YFFL. Now would be a good time to get any women or children out of the room...
| Rank | Team | Record | Comment |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 (1) | Chickens | 5-0 |
Very good chance this teams runs the table in the regular season... Well put. |
| 2 (2) | Boys | 4-1 |
My sleeper pick is cruising right along This team is still filled with a bunch of ass clowns. Knowshown is a no-show. 'Shown has spent more time at Shotgun Willies this season than on the field. Both times I have been to Shotgun Willies (conveniently down the street from my office) 'Shown has been present. I would also like to mention that when a Sales Rep goes to a strip club, it's usually with clients around 2pm... |
| 3 (3) | Dragons | 3-2 |
One of two teams capable of beating the Chickens Any team can beat the Chickens. They're way too old. If I owned the Chickens (wow... I do) I would trade away all of my productive veterans for 2nd and 3rd Round draft picks; as well as Shonn Greene, Max Hall, Early Doucet and the washed up wide receiver that's married to the playboy chick from the reality show. I actually wouldn't do that, because I don't read Rotoworld (AKA Jerk-Off World). Never gone to the site and never will. I think there's a curse surrounding the site. Any owner that reads Jerk-Off World has only won a YFFL Super Bowl with one of their teams. Let's see how long the curse lasts! |
| 4 (5) | Brothers | 4-1 |
Hard to believe one of these top 4 teams won't be in the playoffs... I love the Brothers, but something needs to be done about Carson Palmer. Bri is hanging onto his '05-'07 stint. The dude either puts up 30 or throws up nothing. The BED deserves more (NOT Matt Moore) out of his QB. Great trades over the past few years by the BED. He acquired Wayne and Charles for basically nothing and drafted "The Royal Treatment". Please refer to the #2 definition, not #3. #3 is what Randy Moss gave Bob this past week. |
| 5 (7) | Buddies | 4-1 |
A 1-point win followed by a 2-point win...some guys have all the luck Some guys also win games. 4-1 with 6-1 on his mind. Roy Williams? Really? Come on guys... Why does everyone in this damn league blow rookies? Winning games without Peyton Manning scoring a point is like nailing a husky chick the morning after you nailed her the night before (Aceto). That hardly happens, especially if you're playing an away game and you wake up at her place. Although I play better on the road in the grays, I like to exit the building early, just like how the Buddies exited with a "W" early Monday night on a Randy BOMB. Peyton Manning is the sun god. I suggest everyone re-watch Troy. Brad Pitt actually slices Peyton Manning's head off that statue outside of Apollo's temple. |
| 6 (4) | Huskers | 3-2 |
Probably ranked too high; not showing enough consistency Will these rookies running backs hold up? Will Joe Flacco get life threatening STDs? Will Stephen Williams break out of the shadow of Early Doucet? Many questions surrounding the Huskers... |
| 7 (10) | Refugees | 2-3 |
Favorites in the up-for-grabs AFC East This team still has the best RB combo in the league, but where are the wins? Although Nicks has been nutting all over corner backs' faces, the QB play needs to step up. After marriage, a man is supposed to become more involved in the YFFL. I expect Aceto to make some moves over the next few weeks to make a playoff run. |
| 8 (6) | Thugs | 2-3 |
Hard to believe they'd be in the playoffs if the season ended today It's hard to believe that this team kept Garrett Hartley on cut day. Expect Gano to start from here on out. Cotton Swab's stock has gone down with the play of Arian Foster and the fact that the Texans are winning games. No more mop-up touchdowns leads to running the ball at the end of a game to secure a lead and win. Cotton Swab = Troy Aikman. |
| 9 (9) | White Guys | 3-2 |
Acquiring Favre for Sanchez might be a smart move if Aceto wants to compete in this division This comment is a great piece of bait to try and have Aceto trade Sanchez to Dugas so that Bob has more of a likelihood of acquiring him. This type of trickery does not fool a wise, balding Anthony Aceto. The White Guys need to kill Alex Smith and Devin Thomas and throw them both into the Royal River. Billy Fisk has a better chance of scoring a touchdown in the NFL than Devin Thomas. |
| 10 (8) | Llamas | 2-3 |
These guys just don't scare anyone anymore A sneaky M-Lew pick-up works for Gibbons. This team has been spoon fed to Gibby, so he better not F this one up. Little word from Gibby makes owners wonder: Is Annie truly managing the Llamas?!? |
| 11 (11) | Poop | 2-3 |
The league's forgotten team has to hope Brady can thrive without Moss Enough said. |
| 12 (15) | Merry Men | 2-3 |
This has to be their highest ranking in at least 3 years, right? Prediction: Merry Men over Thugs in Week 6. Although Steve is still choking on Matthew Stafford's Hogan, Sidney Rice will be back soon and Maclin is Kolb's favorite receiver. It's about time to step back to reality, Steve. Aaron Hernandez is not a red zone threat. |
| 13 (14) | Orangutangs | 2-3 |
Watch out for Percy Harvin now with Moss in town The QB situation here is at rock bottom. Rumor is that Kinsman offered Jonathan Stewart to his brother for diapers and a breakfast at Cole Farms. This team has allowed over 200 points and still sits at 2-3. Kinsman is not satisfied. Look for him to make some moves. |
| 14 (12) | Mallards | 1-4 |
They're going to have to run the table to make the playoffs at 9-4 Earlier this week, Steve put James Starks on the trading block. He's looking for an upgrade. Also, Big Ben rapes girls. With all of the great draft picks, Rotoworld, stacks of Sports Illustrated in his TV room and youth large jerseys you would expect more out of Steve Dugas. Thanksgiving and Christmas have been cancelled on East Elm. Rumor has it that Dugas was spotted trying to buy meth and cat tranquilizers on Horton Street in Lewiston... |
| 15 (13) | Beans | 1-4 |
Expect the unexpected when the Beans and Chickens get together The Beans' Jay Cutler can expect the unexpected: LeSean McCoy's cock in his ass. If Kevin Kolb is the Eagles' starter, Bob may as well cut DeSean Jackson. |
| 16 (16) | Eaters | 0-5 |
Buddies don't even need to pick-up a kicker for this game Wow. This team blows. |